While contemplating my next move around the card table at my neighbors' house, a slow moving, swaggering, dark haired gentleman appeared---only I didn't notice. He just stood there watching me play gin... or watching my head bob up and down with pink prickly hair rollers the size of cantalopes on top of it (which always contributed to another unrestful sleep)...I was in deep concentration--card games were my life, so I didn't want to be bothered.

While in this hypnotic state, my neighbors interrupted and said, "Deb, look who's here". Being the precocious adolescent, I thought to myself, 'Yeah, yeah, it's 9 p.m......does it matter?' ...Then, I glanced up--this was before wearing glasses, so I wasn't sure if I was seeing things. There he was in full living color--The King. I also knew it was him because of his, not more than two feet away, pouty, trembling lips ..........Then, he spoke...the legend actually talked to me!!!!!!.....In his southern drawl said, and I quote: "Helllll---lo, Debbie, it's nice to meeeet you. I've heard a lot of nice thangs about you."

Well, what could I say, 'yeah, this 16 year old has heard a lot of nice things about you, too!'. Get real. I decided to play it safe..."thank you, that's very nice of you" and quickly proceeded into self-loathing adolescent inner dialoging--"How could this happen to me?..."I'm so ugly"... "What's with meeting The King before my braces are off next week"..... "They hate me, that's why I met him with my pjs on", etc...I was in a complete dissociative, glassy eyed, non-integrated state after that......Though, Elvis had probably been in the same state, once upon a time, when he posed with Nixon and took the infamous pic titled "The King on Drugs" (no, no, I mean "The King Against Drugs").

You may be wondering how this happened? Well, "The Colonel" (Elvis's manager) lived next door.... and our families were very "close" (as much as you can expect in that crowd)...we hobnobbed with his, anything but happy, 60 something wife, Marie, dined with Priscilla, and babysat the one and only (so we think), I know she's Elvis's kid, pouty and pouty lips, Lisa Marie. And so, The King came with the package. I just didn't like when he was delivered.

Overall, I had five reactions to that event. They were:

1. Never ever wear pajamas again anywhere, especially the ones with feet in them
2. Hair Rollers can have other uses------like cutting them up and using them for art projects
3. Tammy Faye Baker had the right idea about keeping make-up on 24-7
4. Don't ever trust your neighbors--they could spring a celeb on you without your consent ............and, my final reaction:
5. I'm still "all shook up" about meeting The King